Thursday, October 29, 2015

today

I woke up at 5:37, snoozed twice, then put my gym clothes on. I picked up my gym partner, Megan, and we walked and talked for an hour since we did weights yesterday. Today's topic was funny, yesterday's was serious. It's been a good habit to start most days of my week with some physical exercise as well as mental.

I get home at 7:10 and the house is dark and quiet still. I sit on the couch and stretch a little, hoping to give the baby some more room in my ever growing stomach. Plus, my legs are sore from the weights yesterday. I check Instagram and Facebook and see so many nice comments from people about our Halloween costumes. People love nerds, so Star Wars is really getting to their core it seems. I appreciate people taking the time, as it seems sometimes that's all we have to give each other.

I hear Sully yelling from his crib & EZ walks out of their room just minutes later. We cuddle on the couch while Matt wakes up and changes the soggy diaper before letting the scamp out of his prison. EZ rubs my belly and talks about the baby for a minute and how he can probably swim because it's not too deep inside my belly. I hug Matt on my way to the kitchen to start oatmeal, and we comment how we haven't had enough alone time. Let's plan a date soon, and then he heads to the shower. The kids watch JustinTime as the oatmeal boils, and I put on an apron so I can start loading the dishwasher. They're using tupperware for bowls because the dishes are too backed up, so I guess I need to load them up quick.

Oatmeal is eaten, Matt is kissed goodbye, and I carry on with the cleaning of the kitchen. I put on Miley Cyrus music mixed with some Adele, and only stop when someone cries (usually Sully because EZ has done something) or to lip sync to EZ with passionate flare. I hope he finds it super weird that I do that all the time & it is becoming a fond memory in his bank. EZ is lost in a make believe world and Sully is playing with a slinky, so it seems like an extra long slice of quiet. Sully comes over and "hides" between my legs and the sink and it's all very cute how much he's laughing and hugging. After the first load is finished, I sit on the floor to hear EZ tell me about a zombie dream & and to make a crafting plan for the day (since he always wants to do some sort of craft.) Today is pumpkin painting and making a picture with his birthday markers. As soon as I'm down on the ground, both boys are clamoring for lap seats. They cuddle for a minute and Sully does his sweet snugging to EZ's face which makes him laugh. It lasts for 30 seconds and then EZ kicks him off, and he ends up crying. It's fierce to love and punish so quickly.

I stand up as it's the only way to have no one touching me, and I tidy up the front room and clean off the kitchen table while they decide which toys to play with next. Sully is satisfied with the rocket ship & EZ wants me to play with him because he only tolerates alone play for tiny pieces of time. We play with some blocks, put away some leftover party stuff from last week, and look at some Halloween pictures on my phone as I check in with the medias again. I sit on the couch to rest for a moment, but the boys wrestle all over me and I end up tickling them to help me not get annoyed that they're all over me again. It's such a physical game, this parenthood. It's nearly 11 and that means lunch time, since they're up so early we can't wait much longer for food. Turkey and crackers and cheese, and a pumpkin bagel since I have one left. I put on a podcast to help me stay focused, and when it finishes I put the 1950's pandora station on. EZ and Sully dance with me to Great Balls of Fire and EZ laughs because of how many times it says "balls." They chase each other around my legs and down the hall, and they're both laughing and squealing off and on with such delight, anyone would feel happy to witness it.

Sully runs for his elephant and I offer his binkie, and he goes right to his crib with no fight for nap time. He hollers for a minute so EZ goes in to say he needs to go to sleep, and then comes out and tells me that he's a good brother and "handled it." I clean off lunch from the table & put cardboard down from the leftover cereal box so he can paint a pumpkin. I mix the colors he's requested from white acrylic paint and watch him cover the entire thing in blue paint, with tiny hints of red, yellow, and white peaking through. He tells me all about how special it is to paint this pumpkin, and it'll probably be the best painted pumpkin ever (just like his carved pumpkin was the scariest pumpkin ever, remember mom?) He wants to paint a second one, so I clean it and bring it to the table. He says he's going to make this one for Grum, since he misses him and was thinking about him today. (His great grandfather who passed a few years ago.) He then tells a story about how Jesus is going to come back down and Grum can come with him, and Ryder's grandpa too, but I hope none of the bad guys come back because that wouldn't be good. Jesus should stop them. I am researching something on the iPad for my Activity Days girls, and also entering a Facebook costume contest and scrolling through Instagram. We have music playing until it runs out of battery, and then we clean up the paint since he's finished with that activity. He asks to build a fort, and I grab the sheet from the closet. I hear Sully yelling from his crib and realize it's only 1:15, so he's only taken a small nap. EZ takes his hand and shows him the painted pumpkins and the fort, and then they play and fight for a few minutes as they decide not to touch each other's blankets.

It's now 2:15 and I'm forcing "brother time" while I sit at my computer and write this, and maybe even get some editing in for a video. The problem is, I'm sitting down, which means both kids are once again clamoring for me and Sully especially won't stop crying because he just NEEDS to be on my lap or he might just lose it. It's a rough game to strike a balance between giving my all and needing some breaks. Such is the game of parenthood though. Kisses and snugs in between paragraphs. Disciplining during editing. Resisting the urge to smother them with kisses and also not lock them out of my office. Cleaning despite the messes across the room.

The baby is big enough now that I'll feel him moving about off and on all day, so sometimes he'll get a little of my attention too. It just felt like a day I wanted to remember, so I had to write it down. Now it's time to change a diaper and fix the fallen fort and finish editing some files before making dinner.

1 comment:

  1. This is so my everyday - a struggle between cleaning, creating, mothering, breaking up fights, love and not loving being constantly touched, grabbed and kissed. Thank you for writing it, I needed to hear that I'm not the only one dealing with days like this - the good and the bad.

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