Friday, March 28, 2014

month one

sweet little sullivan turned one month old yesterday. a whole month of snugs and late nights and swaddled burritos and velvety skin. he's just about 10 lbs already and steadily growing every minute it seems. he has a huge case of baby acne along with a clogged tear duct and peeling skin to make him quite... gooey. but also a little dry and crusty? it's funny how the first two weeks a baby is all sorts of smooth and perfect and then they have a few weeks (or could be months) of sticky. it appears we don't care if he's sticky though, as his daily dose of smothering has continued.

one month down and i'm feeling ... a lot. sometimes good, sometimes down, sometimes super pissed, sometimes so full of happy. the whole spectrum that's to be expected with parenthood all wrapped up in a few weeks of roller coaster emotions. i try to take each emotion or stage with stride knowing it won't last forever and if it's here, i may as well feel my way through it. the angry parts are the hardest to navigate as EZ drives me bonkers with his naughtiness and instead of being able to roll with the toddler punches, i am yelling and snapping at him more than ever. i'm at least aware of it, even if i don't always handle it maturely. and matt... well he gets the brunt of it as well and i'm trying harder to stay quiet when i'm feeling super charged because it's not always useful to talk my way through what could be moot after i've just slept a little.

sully looks a lot more like me than EZ did, and i find myself laughing sometimes when i look at him with his big eyes and his glade nose because it's sort of weird. like, hello little sort-of-carla baby. he still turns red at the slightest deep breath or cry, and exercises his lungs frequently (especially during diaper changes and while switching sides during nursing.) he's loud, but i'm hoping that just means he's passionate.

i've been surprised as to how well the transition to 2 kids has been, especially when we have planned activities outside (i'm always a better mother when we go outside.) i'm mostly thankful to everyone who helps us, because it seems like more than ever i'm feeling a sense of community with the people who surround us. it takes a village, and i'm so thankful to have one.

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