Wednesday, July 6, 2011

just take it ez

It started with my ankles.  And then moved to the toes. And then the calves. And then the dreaded pregnant face. And all of a sudden the lip quiver came and the hot tears arrived. There was no stopping the pity party I was about to throw, and the hormones saw to that.

Hormones! For the past week or so, I have intermittently fallen into bouts of crazy pregnant woman. It's real, it exists, and it's totally okay.

By the end of the work day, my ankles are at least twice the size. My entire bottom half (and fingers and occasionally, my face!) feels swollen. The heat + the pregnancy + the 30 extra pounds I'm hefting around are taking it's toll on my cup-half-full way of thinking. And then I start crying and pouting and I'm Mrs. Crank, president of Cranky town. It's a hard cycle to break once it's started. My thoughts are mostly irrational ... "SO HUGE. SO PREGNANT HUGE. SO SWOLLEN. SO SWEATY! MY BABY WON'T LIKE ME. WE CAN'T DO THIS! I'M NOT READY. MY ANKLES! OH NO, CANKLES! IS HE MOVING ENOUGH? THE PREGNANT FACE HAS ARRIVED. WE HAVE 6-8 MORE WEEKS. I'LL BE CRAZY FOREVER. NOTHING FITS. STRETCH MARKS! OH HELL, STRETCH MARKS! WHY AM I STILL CRYING?  THE BED IS IN THE WRONG SPOT. WILL I EVER STOP CRYING? ..."

And so on.

But thank the lucky stars it's only temporary and then I return to my 'ol self and realize it's all good. We're fine. Frankie says relax. My ankles will eventually come back. And my baby will like me more than anyone has every liked anyone in the history of the world. And my husband loves me and my roundness & stretchmarks & cankles. He has to - that's part of the marriage oath he took. And so what! My body is creating a miracle and of course there will be war wounds! Battle scars! Evidence to show my baby boy later on to make him know I was serious about bringing him into this world.

And then I bought a new pair of pants that actually fit and realized, I'm not that huge! My pants were just too small, silly. {Even though I am actually very aware of my size... and it's very pregnant people, which is quite spectacular.} Then I bought a nice american shirt on sale and ate cereal at midnight in my yellow swimming shorts while admiring my new pedicure in my newly organized bedroom and breathed easy. Our strong little baby boy moved about as I snuggled up to my loverpants and fell into a nice relaxed sleep. August will be here soon enough.

Now if I could only find my wedding ring, we'd really be set. Pray to the magical wedding ring finders please?


  1. 1. i love your post title.
    2. i hope you name your kid what you told me you wanted to name your kid.
    3. did you find a giant letter for his room yet?
    4. missing wedding ring?! said a prayer.
    5. i'm super emotional and i'm not even pregnant yet. what does this mean for extra hormones? beware?

  2. I'd be emotional just because I lost my ring...much less being pregnant.

  3. Agreeing with everything Kate said- especially number 1. ;) (I don't usually do the winking smiley face, but this time I thought it was appropriate).

    You are such a sweet heart. I know exactly how you feel. I don't think I'm less emotional during this pregnancy (I have been crying a lot lately!), but the thoughts of huge pregnancy body, Will I be a good mom?, What are wrong with my hormones?, etc., go away. So, good news is when you are on your second (you are probably far from thinking that!) pregnancy you will be crying over other things like breaking an Izze bottle outside by the recycle or something.

    Love those husbands for loving our roundness. And to think they even think it's sexy! (Don't usually use that word either, but husbands do like their wives pregnant, and it's a good thing for us girls).

    By the way, I love how you wrote this. You're a great writer!

  4. you are a great writer. i concur.

    and i love how you described your crazy hormones. it really is so weird and psycho...

    good luck during these last few weeks. i feel your pain.

  5. Carla, Carla, Carla. How I love and adore and admire you! You are fantastic! You are a super hero and I'm glad to know you are human :) You are already a great friend, neighbor, wife, etc. and I know you will be an amazing mother. I'm so exctied for you! I love hanging out with you guys more, so let's keep it up.

  6. This post made me laugh out loud! You are hilarious and so cute pregnant, so don't even worry about it...though i know that is a lot easier said than done!