Thursday, May 28, 2009

squeaky doors

There are over 7 squeaky doors in my life... and possibly even more. I am talking about doors that I use every single day. At home, at work, at stores. Every time the hinges move and the squeaking begins, I get irritated. Last night I had squeaky doors in my dream, and when I awoke I decided it was high time to buy some WD-40 and fix all squeaky doors that I encounter. (do you like how WD-40 has an official website? ... i do.) Maybe even carry the bottle of WD in my purse and be the crazy WD Lady for a while just so I don't have to listen to any more incessant squeaks.

The Illustrated Dream Dictionary tells me that Hinges (in a dream) spell family problems if they're rusty. A squeaky hinge means some malicious gossip is about to do the rounds about you. A revolving door is a sure sign you are in a rut.

Oh how very accurate, Dream Dictionary. Jokes on me! Now the viscious gossip I'm not sure about... perhaps it's a warning for the people around me? Ya'll better watch yourselves. However, the family problems (or better said, issues) I can grasp. Matt and I have lived with in-laws (both sides) for 10 months now. They have been beyond wonderful and gracious and this has allowed us to save money. However, Living with relatives is hard. Never feeling like you and your husband are completely alone is hard. Patience can only go so far. Waiting is not my forte. And just when I think some things are about to change... I find myself in a revolving door of stagnancy.

I had a soul shattering cry 2 nights ago. This is not usually something I share on the blog-o-sphere, but I allowed myself to release every single emotion I had bottled up inside for who knows how long, and internet, it felt really good. The emotional shiz hit the fan, and instead of trying to remain calm and in control, I stumbled around and cursed and sobbed and ran through the shiz. And Matt sat and held me while large tears rushed down my face and my body shook because of the exertion. How thankful I am for him. How I love him.

"I'm not saying I don't cry, but in between, I laugh. And I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good."
-Sam {Natalie Portman} in Garden State.

I also look forward to a good cry, or am thankful to have a good cry pass. It always brings clarity. The world will be okay. I will be okay. Life will be okay.

All the little things like squeaky doors are insignificant when compared to the broader picture of life. And today I am glad to have enough clarity to realize that.

It doesn't mean I'm not going to carry around WD-40 though... I wasn't kidding about that one.


  1. I think i would laugh so hard if I saw some random lady putting wd-40 on every squeaky door in sight.

    I love to decode my dreams too. I think it totally shines a new light on things.

    My brother and phil's sister have lived with us, and it is incredibly HARD. I know everything you are talking about. It's even harder when it's your house. I find myself getting mad over stupid stuff. It's better for our relationships with our families and between phil & I if we don't let relatives live with us. I will NEVER live with family again :)(if I can avoid it)

    I love how raw you are on your blog, it inspires me to be more vulnerable, and that it's not a bad thing, it can be good.

    I love having those cries, I always feel much better when I've gotten everything out. My husband is a lifesaver when I need him the most. I feel it brings us closer when we connect on that emotional level. I usually have them with my sister most of the time. We are kindred spirits (now I'm just being corny :)

    Now that I've blogged your ear off, I hope you have a good day & know that I love reading your blog & wish I could put it all out there like you ;)

  2. I just looked at my comment and realized it's almost as long as your post, too funny :)

  3. Oh little Brooke, you are too sweet. And long or short, your comments are great!

    Love, the crazy WD lady

  4. I love this post because we all feel like this from time to time. I love reading posts and thinking, "I totally get that" then you know you are not alone. We all feel that way sometimes and a good cry does always bring clarity for me. I think its amazing Matt understands you so well. Alan is pretty good, but I find we often speak different languages in how we deal with our feelings.

  5. I love that you like to interpret your dreams. I used to have a dream journal in which I drew out and interpreted all my dreams. I'm a little in love with dreams. Most mornings in college, and now that I'm married, I wake up and ask, "Did you have any dreams?"

    And I am right there with you regarding the in-laws. We have been living with my husband's parents since Thanksgiving, and will until we buy a house by the end of the year. It is sometimes hard to remind yourself what a huge blessing it is, and that many civilizations have done it for centuries. A good cry is deserved. I'm glad for you that your husband is so sensitive and empathetic.

    I loved Garden State. I listen to the soundtrack all the time, but I think I should go watch it again.

    Thank you for your sweet openness. That's what makes you real, that's what makes people relate to you here in blogville.

  6. Ok, I think I just commented on every one of your posts...this has got to stop. That or I need to read your blog more often.

  7. My car door was squeeky just two days ago. (Well it has been for far too long.) I went and bought some WD-40 and put it on there. Then I did my van door, and soon found my self wondering to find something else in need of the wonder greese. Then I put it away.

    I lived with my in-laws for about a year. Then some time later, they lived with us while they were building a house. Those were good times...good times...
    Well, not really :)
    I usually don't release frustration in the form of tears. Most of the time I scream, break things, go running, or write blog posts that make me appear insane.

    I released a bit of frustration on my office chair a few weeks ago. It broke. Old CRT monitors are pretty darn tough though.

    anyhow, the frustrating thing about the sort of frustration that I think you're talking about, is that it seems like just having more money would make it all better.

    Even though I personally think money gets a bad rap, I continue to entertain a hunch that it doesn't make it better. But I haven't had enough experience on the money side of things to test that hypothesis.

    You made us all write long comments.

    And Matt- I feel for you too.

  8. i love all your comments! and way to make a girl feel relatable... b/c so many others apparently feel the same way :) love that.

    Laura, "different languages" is the perfect way to describe some conversations between all couples. just brilliant.

    Lindsey, Garden State is the BEST soundtrack! And my mom totally has dream books... so email me any weird ones and i'll try my best to tell you what's up.

    John, Matt says thanks for understanding his side. How differently men and women react... breaking things? How male appropriate. Oh, and we love money. and boy we wish we had more... even if it wouldn't solve our problems :)

  9. I think the older I've gotten, the more emotional I've become, and I sure embrace a good cry everyone so often...usually once a month!

    I hope all is well.