Wednesday, April 8, 2015

oh, sullivan.

this baby.
 this baby of mine.
oh sully. he's just the freaking best. recently i've been obsessed with him more than my normal level of obsession. i go through phases like this with each of my children, where i can barely stop myself from eating their faces because i just am not sure i can live one more minute with their cute selves without eating them. it's such a physical reaction that words don't even seem powerful enough to explain the extremeness.

but yes. my sullivan. up until about 5 days ago, he was a caveman. he grunted and growled and roared, but wouldn't make any type of word sounds. he actually still hasn't said his first word, but is barely starting to form actual letter sounds as he babbles. just tonight he was trying to say "boom" with me and laughed hysterically at how silly it all was. like i was making it up that "boom" was a word. it's extremely cute, but the caveman grunts were also amazing. and his OH! he says OH! like it's going to save someone's life. it's ferocious and animated and almost always he's pointing up while he does it. his strawberry blonde hair is wispy but thick and compliments his ocean blue eyes and soft button nose. he still curls his toes most of the time & it makes putting shoes on him difficult.

he crawls like a gorilla still and climbs like one too, but does not seem ready to walk just yet (at least without a walker or hand hold.) he loves to try to sneak into the toilet water, likes to sit on the very top step of any staircase and scare the shiz out of us by bouncing up and down, and will climb anything in front of him. we've nearly found him on the bathroom and kitchen counters when we place a stool just so.

he naps usually twice a day, still wakes up at night too regularly, and has started to panic cry when i'm out of reach when he's tired in public. he seems to be very independent, will solo play for hours, and crawls around public places like he's never heard of germs. by the end of the day he's usually covered in a mixture of all things dirty and slimy and sticky. he lights up in public and around people and seems to be following his extroverted brother's example.

he's asleep right now, but i kind of want to go hug him and smother him like only his smother knows how. heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes.

Friday, April 3, 2015

St. Patty's 2015, he learned what a shamrock is

St. Patty's 2015 was easy peasy greeny and squeazy. Let's just say EZ handled the green milk much better than last year ;) Ha! That WAS funny though. We ate the green food and the lucky charms and wore the appropriate color and then let the boys rest because they were both on their way to getting the roseola virus and feeling miserable for the next four days. But we made a lot of shamrocks and read a St. Patrick's Day book a lot and even learned about St. Patrick himself (he chased the snakes out of Ireland apparently?) And we read green eggs & ham because it just sort of fit. 
And as always, Sully's face.

twenty nine

I turned twenty nine years old 6 months ago and didn't even blog about it. That makes me feel down because I always love looking back on posts I write about myself as an inkling of who I was at that age, and the fact that I didn't even write anything is sad. At least for my narcissistic side. But oh well. These days six months passes and it only feels like a few weeks, so I guess there is and there isn't always time for everything just depending on the day. And even six months late I want to talk about myself and my birthday and so I'll do what I want! And it just so happens that it took me long enough to write this post bit by bit that it's actually my half birthday today, so it's totes cool, bra!

I woke up on my 29th birthday feeling quite a bit of anxiety. Not all of it was negative, but it was definitely present. I had experienced two official anxiety attacks in the last two years and I think it's sort of become part of this current model of Carla. The earlier version didn't have much anxiety, this one does, and maybe future ones won't. It doesn't really feel like a part of me, more like an accessory that I'm not ready to take off. Or can't figure out how. Or need to learn from first. I felt some negative anxiety over the things I can't control and also that I have to be in control more than ever when managing feelings of myself and others (especially my household residents.) Stakes are higher and more to lose and stuff like that. I felt some serious positive anxiety over some of the things I was hoping to accomplish or figure out or just elevating life, because maybe I haven't been playing big enough and this felt like the year to really do something about that. That anxiety also translates into fear or excitement depending on the day.

The day itself was wonderful. October third had lovely weather and lots of sunshine. Donuts first like always, I was given an auto lock for our door which is my most favorite type of present (a practical one!), I wore fancy eyeliner all day, Matt took the day off work and we hit the dinosaur museum with the kids, then we all napped and later that night Matt took me out for a fun meal and a surprise visit to the Desert Start where I was giddy with the bad puns & the atmosphere. It was such a great day and spending time with that man is where it's at. He's the best one for me and wasn't even mad that a goat sitting on a rock topped everything else because I am such a weirdo and saw a goat on a rock and it was just a moment for me. I don't know, can't really explain it but I did take this video right after so we could remember it...

                                       Goat! from Carla Thorup on Vimeo.

Maybe it made you laugh? It doesn't matter, because Matt and I really like to remember it. It was bonding and weird and I'm glad it happened.

The night before my actual birthday we went to laser tag with some neighbor friends and ate tons of ice cream sammys and it was super fun and delicious and my girl Megan and I always laugh this hard. She's a good egg. A Meggan-egg if you will ;)

So there you have it. Twenty nine. 6 months in and I feel pretty good. I am not totally in love with my hair... even though I get so many nice compliments. It doesn't photograph well and if anyone knows anything about me, it's that I take a lot of photos of myself and I need my hair to reflect better. Silly, but not. I feel like I'm comfortable enough being me that I am not afraid to stand up for myself, but also know that I actually know barely anything about this big world and am grateful to be taught by others. I am in a place that sometimes is painful while I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life & where to put my efforts and beliefs... but painful like growing pains that seem ok because they're necessary. I've been physically sick too much in the past six months it's ridiculous, but also in sickness it makes you appreciate the health etc etc so whatever. I'm over getting sick. Matt is an excellent partner. My kids are amazing even when they suck. I have good people around me and a lot of time to spend developing myself & my life & hopefully serving others as well. I feel excited to turn thirty but am trying not to rush it. This twenty nine is good. Solid. I mean, and if anything there was a goat... so I'ma gunna enjoy the rest of the year remembering that and be A-ok.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

easter week

It's easy to get into the spirit of holidays when EZ is around. He lives for making crafts or decorations or things to put on his head. It's one of his love languages. And he commits to whatever character he's playing! Bouncing and grabbing a carrot and making a ftt ftt with his teeth all afternoon. He would not take them off for Costco later that day either, which went juuuuust fine with those delicious carrot cake cupcakes. And Sully couldn't get the headband off because it was pretty snug... which was just sort of a bonus for all of us. EZ drew the faces all by himself and decided he wanted blue everything instead of pink because "blue is just awesome, mom." You can even see the cotton ball tail peeping out on the one of Sully's profile.

And since blue is just awesome, we all wore it to church last Sunday. EZ can't help but grab Sullivan's head aggressively whenever he gets a chance. It's not always well received, but I'll always encourage it anyway. We got two weeks with our blooming magnolia out front this year and she was purty and lovely the whole time. Now she's nearly dead with brown, dead leaves everywhere... so I'm glad we snapped a few with her before her demise.
Cute, huh?

And then ten seconds later EZ was ripping his Sunday clothes off to get into something comfortable and getting in trouble for once again touching Sully's head too aggressively, this time with a sock.

We have three books on rotation about Easter and why we celebrate and it's helping include Christ in all our celebrations. We have a Holy Thursday dinner planned tonight to remember the last supper & the example of service Christ showed, and then a family date to paint some eggs. They've grown so much since last year I bet it can only become more fun each year!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

video at the Capitol

                                    UT State Capitol 3.2015 from Carla Thorup on Vimeo.

I'm trying my hand at videography for upcoming projects & life, so I took a couple hours to film and edit this and just used stock music from garage band and it turned out OK. And I'm pleased with OK seeing how it was my first time really trying with my Canon! And I like my kids and this was a good day.

Monday, March 2, 2015

To the child with the constant cold feet

Please don't rub your cold toes on my legs. It's startling and I do not enjoy it. Put on slippers. Put on socks. Grab a blanket. There are so many other options to your dilemma than crying to me and then touching me with your freezing cold toes. 

Also, while we're on the subject. Get better at putting your socks and shoes on the first (or even second or third) time I ask. Don't wait until we're in a battle where I'm backing out of the garage and you're crying at the door shoeless telling me not to go. You can't go outside without your shoes. That's how life works. Put your socks & shoes on and you can always come outside with me. Remember that.

Also, tell your parents to turn up the heat. Your toes are cold far too often. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

7 days, 7 nights, 5 kids, 2 moms, 1600+ miles : road trip to AZ

My sister, Melina, and I took a road trip to Arizona to visit our grandparents a few weeks back. It was super awesome (and also awful and hard) and we're so glad we did it (but are not eager to do it again.) She has 3 kids (5,3, 9 months) plus my 2 kids (3.5, 1) and we felt outnumbered nearly all the time and slightly cray cray most of the time too. But! It was fun! And also we are such a great team (and I love my sister so damn much and we always have easy laughs even if she packs weird food for kids and makes me annoyed sometimes.) She is overly efficient and planned and puts up with my laid back ill-preparedness (which I'd argue is actually more prepared than normal people but she always scoffs at me so she obviously doesn't think so.) I drove the whole time while she was super-mom-mary-poppins back and forth from the front to the back as she took care of all the kids. We had moments of pure bliss when kids were calm and happy or watching a show, we had a ton of times where one or more were crying, and we had TWO 2-hour stretches where all five children were asleep. ALL FIVE. EZ continued his streak of being car sick & threw up four different times, but is very proficient with his own personal puke bucket and it was breezy. Lucy gets MVP for the trip for being the sweetest and calmest, Sully cried the most in the car because he was over his carseat almost all the time, and the three big kids played well together (except when they were fighting.)

We arrived in Tucson, AZ after two days of travel and were greeted with such happiness from my Grandma & Grandpa. Grandpa Boerup is old and forgetful and doesn't know who we are anymore, but he was very sweet with the kids & loved watching them play around the house. Grandma Boerup is amazing and everything I hope I can be when I get old. Smart, pretty, resilient, and always loves holding a baby. We weren't going to sleep at their house to avoid the chaos of 5 kids, but it may be our last time sleeping there for who knows how long so we just packed us all in there somehow and made it work. Dinnertime was the WORST because kids suck the life out of meal times (UGH) but we had a lot of really nice moments. And after bedtime we were able to chat with our Grandma about her long life (she'll be 90 this year!) and how strong and wonderful and exhausting it is to have lived so long. She's had so much joy and yet so much loss.
Our mom packed some homemade play-doh for the kids to use while we were there and Grandma got right down to business helping them make nests and eggs for over an hour. We were so grateful we could go since they haven't had a house full of kids for a long time, and she kept commenting how nice it was to have us there. We almost always had a baby strapped to us or our hands full of kids, but we also were able to make some dinners for them & spend some time with other family as well. 
Oh, this was funny. So the pool isn't heated and was obviously cold (it was February!) but the kids slowly started dipping their feet in, then their pants came off, then their underwear, and so we finally put their swimsuits on & their floaties just in case. Well good thing we did because Ryder pushed EZ in and then Melina pushed Ryder in and there was some extreme wailing!! Haha. It wasn't scary because they were just fine, but it was really funny. And a little traumatizing (but isn't that childhood?) So many grandkids have fallen in that pool and I'm glad we have our own story to tell our kids. Melina said "I've never seen EZ swim so fast!"
The drive was long, but also pretty. We hit some snow on our way back and instead of staying a day in Vegas to play, we just came home because the weather was bad. I will say, I bet it was exhausting watching us. Two moms who had their hands full almost all the time was tiring living it, but sometimes we'd laugh thinking about what it looked like from the outside.

For example, continental breakfast with 5 kids under the age of 5. HA! Sit kids down, one baby on one hip, one baby in high chair. Get dry fruit loops in three separate bowls to get kids started, go start cooking waffle while filling three cups of apple juice, then get banana and yogurt, tell kids to sit back down, get one giant plate of eggs and some sausage, waffle is beeping, go get waffle & syrup, clean up spilled apple juice, get three plates of waffle/egg/sausage ready for the three kids while also tiny bites for the 1 year old, keep baby off floor but need hands to cut waffles for kids, try to force kids to eat food, clean up spilled plate, comfort kid who is crying, give baby more food to eat, take one kid to bathroom, force another bite of food, threaten them that they will get no more food if they don't eat now, sh's them from being noisy, clean up another spilled cup... etc etc. Just on and on. And within all that, try to make them behave like respectable humans and also eat something yourselves. Ha! It doesn't really seem like a big deal while doing it, but thinking about it or watching the faces of those around us made it funny to think about the dance we had to continually do.
Also, so much stuff. Always so much stuff.

We love our grandparents & family and were so thankful to visit Arizona. Next time we go might be for memorials, so we're really happy we made it happen.