Tuesday, January 20, 2015

weird start

january has had a weird start for our house. on new year's day i had UTI symptoms and two days later i thought i had the flu or food poisoning, but turns out it was a kidney infection and it was ROUGH. 104 degree fevers and so much crazy up and downs in temperature. even an ER trip was in order. and EZ had a bout of fevers and a terrible cough. sully has had snot running down his face the entire month and will not grow new teeth but keeps freaking out like he is. and then just last week matt went and got the real flu with fevers and chills and all around feeling miserable. it's crazy to have had so much in such a short time, but it's almost passed and at least we're left feeling more grateful for our health. 

and then we've had some sadness surrounding family and friends. our young 21 year old neighbor who lived at home with his parents took his life right next door a few weeks ago. so sad. our neighborhood is in mourning still. and then just last week my brother in law suddenly lost his father and it's compounded the sadness. death is hard no matter how it happens. it's bizarre that it happens to everyone when we walk around thinking it's never going to happen to us. and it literally is never easy.

phew. writing that out makes me feel sad. 

one thing that i'm trying to do this year is to find more quiet. i signed up for a 6 week meditation class (so far it's great) and i'm trying to take steps around our house to allow for more quiet opportunities. my brain is loud. my phone is loud. the world is loud. i'm trying to connect to divinity more often and the only way is to allow more quiet in my life.  i believe i'll be able to be louder with who i am and how i behave from knowing how to be quiet. i want bounty and connection.

ez and sully are great. besides sickness plaguing our house, they're continuing to light up the world around us. ez says the best things and always sounds so proper. it surprises and delights us every day. just last week when we dropped matt off at the train in the early morning he noticed there was frost on the car next to us and it was being hit by a beam of sunlight. "mom! that car has pixie dust all over it! I wonder if it will fly to work?!" just so much delight. and right at this moment he's playing with his friend luke and they are both in costumes and have been in a pretend world for the past 45 minutes playing pirates and bad guys and all sorts of awesome scenarios. how do our brains get so tarnished as we grow? i love the peaks of innocence and present-ness from watching kids live. sully is squishy and sweet and does this monkey style sliding crawl. he climbed the stairs for the first time just two days ago and made it to the top without trying hard at all. losing his babyhood all at once it seems.  

matt's birthday was so fun and overall he feels pretty good about being 30. he has some exciting stuff coming up with work and personal projects, and we're constantly grateful he's so fulfilled with his work. his goal for the year is to maintain a beautiful mustache and beard while pursuing some personal health and artistic goals. we're also working on our relationship and trying to make more time for being #twohandsin. it is easy to go quite a long time without truly connecting unless we make the time. 

I wrote this out on IG the other day but I want it here too. life is heartbreaking on so many levels. watching a baby grow. death of loved ones. missed opportunities. the end of something wonderful. we're all just walking around with varying degrees of heartbreak. i hope i'm kind and empathetic enough to be aware of other's heartbreaks and be helpful not hurtful. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015


Dirty thirty!
Thirty flirty and thriving!

Happy Happy Birthday to my Matthew boo boo bear who turns the sexy 'ol age of THIRTY today!!!! I am so glad to know you. You are hilarious and optimistic and sensitive and are aging like a true gentleman. Thank you for being so motivated to be your best self and for constantly loving us with everything you have. We are lucky to call your ours, and I hope we treat you right! We're at least trying! Because you deserve it and I love you and let's freakin' party like a 30 year old and stay in our sweats most of the day while we eat a ton of food and see a matinee and stuff like that. Real party animal stuff!

It is a privilege to be your partner, your friend, your lover, and everything else in between. EZ and Sully are lucky to have you as their goofball dad. Thirty is going to be an amazing year and I'm so very very proud of who you are as a person. I love you and like you and wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Besos all over the place!!

You're such a sexy beast. Let's party!!!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

the last day of 2014

i haven't written enough about this year, but today i'll tell you about this morning. we woke up late because of staying up too late and stayed in our sweats and jimjams to go eat french toast at kneaders. ez told jokes and ate mostly whipped cream while sully ate some yogurt and a plastic cup. it was cold and matt told me i couldn't take any more pictures because it was nuts to be outside any longer than possible. it's so nice to have matt off work and home with us. our house is a complete mess and we haven't cleaned up christmas anything and it seems like we are having a contest on how high we can stack dishes without doing them... but it's good. it'll be nice to start a new year, but i have such fond memories of this one that i'm sad to see it go. my kids are only getting bigger and time will continue speeding forward and it'll all happen too fast, so today i'll just try to stay here. in these moments. with these people. and maybe clean something up (maybe.)

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Turkey day 2K14 was a huge success. Also, all the kids these days are writing it 2K14 instead of 2014 and I've sort of picked it up and am wondering if I should drop it right away? I'm probably too old for that now that I'm 29. An adult, after all.

We played hundreds of rounds of HH Hippos after delicious cinnamon rolls followed by baths and naps while Matt and I made some dishes for the feast later. EZ and I used his new awesome glue to do some crafting before we headed over to the Thorup house for a thankful family dinner. Ces & Deej came to town and Easton baby joined in the fun! Sadly we missed the Meg & Brady family because Leo was sick as a dog, but we thought about them.  
Right as we were gathered around watching a riveting YouTube clip of Shia Labeouf (THANKS Brissa!) we heard some very familiar jingle bells.... and EZ WAS STOKED. Like, so so happy. Grandpa and Bibi were so generous to plan such a fun evening! Sully loved it and then DIDN'T. But he did have quite a rough poop day... bless his bum. Not enough, too much... this kid can't get it straight. But anyway, Santa! Mrs Claus! It was fun.

aaaaaaaand now it's December and Christmastime! 

Monday, December 1, 2014

family family in october

Our niece, Lucy, was blessed at the beginning of the month. Sully and Lucy are 4 months apart and we hope they are better friends than their older siblings (3 months apart and sort of really good at bickering. Ha.) 

Emily and Jake welcomed squishy baby Easton in the middle of the month! His little heart needed extra attention & surgery during his first week, but he's like the sweetest little man and is so strong!!

And then at the end of the month, my mom & Warren decided to go down to the court house and get married! No frills and pretty straight forward just like my mom, but she let us get excited for it! And all the grandkids (even Mark & Cass & Porter on FaceTime!) were there to cheer them on (but mostly make noise and photo bomb ha.) They're a solid pair and we're stoked they're hitched!